The Curse of a Golden Heart
by Anakin's Girl 4eva
Summary: Just after Diane leaves, Bo sits reflecting on the mistakes he made with her and contemplates exactly how useful a golden heart is.


**_A/N: Howdy everyone...I dont know where this little ficlet came from but it did appear in my head and as soon as I started typing it all just flowed out onto paper...I think Bo's spirit possessed me :-S lol, Anyway, hope you enjoy and remember to review!! Please!_**

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How could I have been so stupid?

Actually stupid probably isn't the word I should use…maybe it should be blind…confused…ignorant…Luke wouldn't let me get away with just the word stupid, not after everything that had happened.

I knew she didn't love me…deep down I knew, I just chose to ignore it for the sake of hoping that I'd actually found someone who I loved who would stick around with me long enough to form a relationship that didn't last until the end of the week. I actually dared to hope that maybe this relationship could have gone on longer.

Luke always said my big, apparently golden heart was a gift…allowed me to feel my emotions and understand those around me…allow me to be compassionate, caring, loving…but at the same time I think it's a curse…cause like all things fragile, they are bound to get hurt eventually, especially if its not taken care of. I've lost count of the amount of times I've let someone or something chip away at my 'golden heart'…I guess I was looking this time for something that would help full those wounds and strengthen what has been weakened. I guess that's why I fought against Luke so vehemently when he tried to show me the reality of what was happening.

The sabotage on General Lee wasn't Diane's fault…Carl was responsible for that, I don't blame her…but why couldn't I see before that it would always be the carnival that came first? Why couldn't I see that actually, I was nothing more than a farm boy in her eyes – I wasn't worth the spit I should be spit shining her boots with to her. All she wanted from me was a stunt driver…and she knew so long as I still loved her and didn't find out her true feelings, she could twist me anyway she wanted.

She told me she loved me before she left just about an hour ago now…but I can't help sitting here and wondering just how much of those words that were uttered from her lips were true. The carnival bit I'm sure….but love? Does Diane even know what it is to love? If only I'd realized these things sooner, I wouldn't have been so blind to what was right in front of my eyes all along. I may have the ability to understand people's emotions...but I lack the ability to grasp them in the first place sometimes…well…the ones that they don't present outright anyway. Where Luke's judgement isn't clouded by his own emotions, he can see things much clearer than I can.

I haven't seen my family since Diane left…I stayed behind after the show and helped her and the team pack down everything that needed doing so…and before I knew it I was watching the back of her RV driving down the dusty road, driving over my heart and shattering it to pieces as the first tears of true heartbreak slid down my cheeks. I watched her go until I could see her no more…then I just let my mind go into auto-pilot and take me anywhere it thought I should go.

And where did I end up? The very first place me and Diane met….by the fence me and Luke had been fixing that day…the place in which my heart surrendered itself over to her looks and charms in the hopes it would find someone that can cherish it as much as my family seem to.

I sit here in the grass now, contemplating the whole situation and the traditional what-ifs…what if I had realized all this in the first place…what if Luke hadn't gotten to me in time…what if I had gone with Diane instead of just letting her walk out of my life. Part of me is very tempted to go back on my word and go after Diane….screw my probation leashing me to Hazzard County, I'd travel the world with Diane and perform stunt after stunt…returning home each night to her arms, her warmth, her love….instead of returning to a double bed that is slept in by only one person each night.

But no….as soon as these thoughts enter my mind the realization dawns again that Diane never would have let it happen. Our relationship would never extend from being a fling between Employer and Employee…I would be second best to a carnival always in Diane's eyes….and every time this thought came back to haunt me…the tears sprang to my eyes and dripped down my cheeks again. Hanging my head as I lean against the fixed support post of the fence, I idly pick a blade of grass and sat twiddle it between my fingers, my vision blurred by the tears that want to escape in torrents but that I only let drip slowly.

I glance up as I hear an engine and sigh softly as I see the truck…or a blurred, watery white blob I can only assume is the truck…I know for sure as it gets closer and I hear the familiar engine noise. I don't move from my spot though, nor do I make any sign to show that I have even heard the thing pull up. I keep my head lowered and the blade of grass between my fingers, hearing the door opening and closing and footsteps coming over to me.

If there were any words spoken I didn't hear them…if my name was called I didn't hear it…the only thing I knew next was the feeling of hands on my shoulders. On the right was an old, weathered, leathery one that gave a firm yet gentle and reassuring squeeze…a father like squeeze. On the other was a young, yet still weathered one, squeezing my shoulder softly but supportively…a brotherly squeeze. And then there was a hand clasping my fidgeting fingers softly in their feminine, caring embrace.

I look up and am immediately met with Daisy's gentle, concerned gaze. Then, as I look to my right, I see Uncle Jesse's….but I am almost afraid to look to my left. I don't know what I'll see in my cousins eyes…I don't know what his reaction will be…I hurt him badly, I made him out to be a liar…I didn't want to see the look of disappointment in his eyes….

I didn't have a chance not to look at him though…as a finger slipped under my chin and turned my head, directing my gaze up at Luke….and the tears very nearly overflowed the barriers I had been holding them behind. There was no disappointment in Luke's eyes, no anger, no pain, no fear….just love, compassion, support and strength…all the things Bo had always found in Luke's eyes whenever Luke looked at him normally.

No words were exchanged between us Dukes, but I still knew eventually everything would be okay. That they would always be here for me to pick me up when I got trodden down into the dust and kicked aside, they would dust me down and build me back up and give me the strength and support to go on as I would do for any of them….because we are a family unit – a strong one – and we will do anything we can to support each other…we will look after each other till the day we die and even then we wont stop.

We will always be together, no matter what happens, no matter how separated we are, no matter how many barriers are put between us. Family is more important than anything in the world, and in the end I feel sorry for Diane that she can't seem to grasp that. I guess for her, the carnival and the people it holds are her family which is why it comes first…but if only she had stayed…then she could have been a part of this family and learnt what I have always known.

That us Dukes are special…we're one of a kind…you can try and replicate us as much as you like but what we have isn't something that can be copied. It is born out of years of love, support and communication. Equal measures of good times and bad have been had by all of us, but we've helped each other through them…and as a result we have a family bond like no other. We are the Dukes of Hazzard and there will never be anyone like us.


End file.
